FAMILY MEMBER ILL: AN LJ GUIDE TO COPING WITH HOSPITALS PURPOSE: This arose out of emails with catsgomiaow: it occurred to me -- and she agreed -- that some kind of advice digest of our various experiences might be helpful to others. What follows builds in the notes Dr Vick wrote for Becky and me when my mother started to become seriously ill about five years ago, combining our experience of what was helpful and what was a surprise to discover in this very stressful situation -- to start to put together a kind of database-discussion of what to expect, to plan for, to know to demand, especially in regard to things that you may not have been prepared for. As my friend (who works in a hospital, currently in the "interfacing with the public" side, which she is very good at) put it: "It is about looking after the patient, keeping the carer [ie YOU] informed, and being realistic in what is and isn't achieveable in one's care."
the rules as they have evolved: a: give nice full answers and anecdotes! b: say if googled or not, and leave a bit of a while for people to answer non-googlingly c: you're obviously allowed to look ahead at future questions as (first) this was published in a national newspaper and i can't stop you and (second) i can't stop ME either, and have done exactly this